Love Aaj Kal

Directed by: Imtiaz Ali

Starring: Saif Ali Khan, Deepika Padukone, Rishi Kapoor

Released: 2009

My rating: destroy every copy – horrible – bad – whatever – flawed but enjoyable - good – great – amazing

The story may not be great and performances of varied quality, but there is something lyrical about Imtiaz Ali films, which makes them an enjoyable watch, even if only once. Love Aaj Kal is the least emotional of his movies, least complicated, not reaching the amazing entertainment offered by Jab We Met or even emotional wreckage of Rockstar. But it has its share of charming moments and overal is a pretty, pretty picture, using flashbacks very well, without confusing the viewer, and heightening curiosity as the story goes on.

We are given a glimpse of „modern“ and „cool“ relationship between architect Jai and art student Meera, who have great time hanging out together, all on the backdrop of London. Jai, who is really the one carrying the narrative and the story unfolds from his point of view, considers romantic love an old-fashion concept, and when Meera is offered work in India, he very sportingly supports her to leave him, breaking up with her on friendliest terms possible. How very modern and cool indeed. However as the time passes by, he notices his sloppy attempts to move on are all destined to fail. And being constantly nagged by an elderly restaurant owner, who paints in front of Jai his own story of love he had once lived, Mr. Architect is quite shocked when he realizes Love has probably happened to him. Unfortunately it seems Meera actually did move on...

Deepika Padukone does not have much to contribute to the movie, aside from her utterly gorgeous face and drool-worthy wardrobe. After getting used to her very much exciting self from the last two years, I was actually surprised to revisit the somehow awkward, extremely camera-conscious Deepika with pitiful dialogue delivery (which has so evolved since then!). She doesn´t ruin the scenes she´s in, but the director very wisely let Saif Ali Khan do most of the acting instead, giving him most of the dialogues, and so our dear nawab goes on like a chatterbox, rarely stopping an endless flow of words whenever he is nervous or emotional. Sometimes his monologues actually get so long you wonder if Meera´s turn to talk would ever come (and sometimes it really does not).

The most charming bits of the movie, however, are introduced to the viewer by Rishi Kapoor and his narration of the old-school love story several decades ago, in India. The warm, brown colouring of all the scenes in the „past“ gives them a unique mood, very different from the rest of the film. In fact, it felt so nice, I caught myself wishing it would have been the main bit of the film, or a film of its own! Even more so since I felt it was left rather unsolved, even though Neetu Singh´s brief appearance in the very end of the movie gave away the final result.

Love Aaj Kal concludes a very simple fact: Love is Love, no matter if one searches for it or not, no matter where, no matter how it happens, and no matter how modern and cool you consider yourself. You can never bee too cool for Love. It´s just about how thick you are in the head to realize it happened. Very good production values, very likeable actors and very charming story telling make Love Aaj Kal a nice film, if you are in the right mood.

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D-Day

Directed by: Nikhil Advani

Starring: Irrfan Khan, Arjun Rampal, Rishi Kapoor, Huma Qureshi, Shruti Hassan

Released: 2013

Verdict: destroy every copy – horrible – bad – whatever – flawed but enjoyable - good – great – amazing

Being neither Pakistani nor Hindustani I cannot really judge if the film was hurtful in sentiment, but truth to be told I did not feel like either side was made heroes or villains. In fact both sides are shown as showing no mercy or thinking twice about sacrificing lives of common folk while going after their goal – which is what they believe will secure their country. I don´t think anyone should imagine their country is not doing these things.

Inspired by the foul deeds of Dawood Ibrahim, D Day is about an attempt of four RAW agents trying to capture a man behind terrorist attacks from Pakistan, where he is hiding with the approval of local authorities, and to escort him back to India. Carefully planned and almost successful operation „Goldman“ takes place during Dawood´s son´s wedding. Unfortunately things go wrong and the four agents find themselves trapped in the streets of Karachi, pursued by both Dawood and their own Hindustani agency, who has quickly decided to give up on them and terminate them as unwanted evidence. How to lure them out though? Maybe some of them have weaknesses. Maybe some of them have families.

D Day is a skillfully crafted picture and possibly the best action thriller coming out of Bollywood last year. I was positively shocked to find out Nikhil Advani, the man behind the whiny glycerine-fest Kal Ho Na Ho, was the director. The pace was really good, even if it slowed down a bit in the second half, the work with numerous flashbacks seamless and effective. There are quite many characters and all are given at least some backstory - Irrfan´s is the best explored since it moves the plot. I was hoping to see more of Huma and Arjun´s past and relathionships, but that never happened, possibly because it would slow the film down too much. I think the weakness of the story was the fact that way too many things happen seemingly without reason. For example - why kill off the prostitute? And why does one of our protagonists suddenly decide to blow everything up, even though there is really no need for such drastic measures? And when did Irrfan and Arjun made that last bit of a plan up??? After a little stale bit we spent with our protagonists in hiding, the renewed tempo of the climax is refreshing, superb and again the whole scene very well edited, switching between thrills and emotions.

Actors do a solid job, with Irrfan being (not surprisingly) the best among them. Arjun Rampal as a silent, expressionless soldier without past fits the role and so does well, Huma Qureshi screams a bit too much from time to time but you believe her at any given moment. Shruti Hassan has a small role, is lovely to look at and in beautiful song Alvida her eyes steal the show by telling a story on their own. Her dialogue delivery sucks - something 90% of young actresses these days struggle with. Rishi Kapoor is brilliant. There is really nothing you can complain about when it comes to him. His mannerism and command over voice are remarkable.

I truly enjoyed the movie. It had just the right mix of mystery, thrilling stuff and emotions, it didn´t feel too stretched out of reality at any point, it was very "human" without any emotional blackmail involved. It was dark and rough, but not graphic. Definitely one of the better films of 2013. I repeat, I cannot say if it was politically correct or not. But strictly as a film, it was well made.

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Besharam

Directed by: Abhinav Kashyp

Starring: Ranbir Kapoor, Pallavi Sharda, Rishi Kapoor, Neetu Singh

Released: 2013

Verdict: destroy every copy – horrible – bad – whatever – flawed but enjoyable - good – great – amazing

After drowning us with tears in emotional Rockstar, warming our hearts with delightful Barfi and entertaining us with romantic YJHD Ranbir Kapoor has apparently decided it was time to screw his reputation with Besharam. He is without a doubt my most favourite actor from the new generation (yes, even after this film), but truth to be told that only made the whole matter worse. I admit - I was not as appalled and horrified as I probably should have been, because appalled and horrified reviews kept coming from all sides and my expectations hit rock bottom. When I found some himmat to watch, I was ready for the WORST. The first half is decent - if we forget the disgusting morning erection scene and the most repulsive scene EVER (starring living legend Rishi Kapoor and a toilet) which was not needed and pretty much an INSULT to all his fans. Ranbir is acting well (even though his character is a disgusting creep for most part) and the new girl can dance. And Rishi Kapoor is the one who gives you a few chuckles (when he is not doing potty).

The story is extremely weak, and even though one is not supposed to look for logic in these kind of movies, the stupidity of actions these people go to is just too much. There was no need to steal the car again, at least not once the girl knew the truth. And did they really think they couldn´t be tracked down? Did they really think nobody would look for the money? The bones of this plot are rusty, and the tofu you are trying to plaster on them ain´t no meat. So what that Babli is an orphan. How does that justify him being a thief? And that he gives everything to the orphanage makes even less sense - he could be doing any honest job and do the same. In other words Babli is a thief - because he likes it. There is no majboori involved, no matter how much they are trying to shovel that into your throat.

I will do something I usually hate when others do it and say that Pallavi Sharda is just not beautiful enough. Not for this movie. She IS pretty and she is not a bad actress at all, however this role called for a STUNNING lady that would just catch your eye immediately. And Pallavi does not have this quality. She completely lacks star quality and is very bland. She shares no chemistry with Ranbir (obsessed with his crotch be it in the songs or otherwise) whatsoever, and their love story is very much awkward and superficial. It doesn´t feel natural at all, has no progress.

The girl is treated just bad in the whole movie. She is pursued by the hero because of no other reason than her looks. He is stalking her even though she several times rejects him and makes it clear she has no interest in him whatsoever. Later in the film she is deceived and lied to. And when she gets upset - SHE is the one who gets lectured on being spoilt, heartless and cold. WTF?! Sexist much director saab?

Neetu Singh.... the pyaari Neetu.... got the worst character in the film and is pretty much stripped of all her grace and ellegance. She was obnoxious and annoying and unfortunately only PARTLY because her character sucked. One of the main attractions of the film was the fact the three Kapoors were starring together in it - for the first time ever - but in the end it makes everything even more sad.

In the end I can only say that not even super low expectations save anything - except perhaps it doesn´t make you that mad. It also doesn´t guarantee you will not want to barf at the toilet scene. Besharam Abhinav Kashyap took us for a ride and drove so recklessly we all can only feel sick.

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Nagina

Directed by: Harmesh Malhotra

Starring: Rishi Kapoor, Sridevi, Amrish Puri, Prem Chopra

Released: 1986

Verdict: destroy every copy – horrible – bad – whatever – flawed but enjoyable - good – great – amazing

I HATE snakes. And this movie reminded me why. They are quick, noiseless and the way they move freaks me out. Usually I cannot even stand the sight of them. But I´m willing to watch this film again and again! Yes, it is good, one of the actual classics among the 80s pile of average crap. And let´s not play games: it is so because of Sridevi and Amrish Puri. While the movies would still be good with Jayapradha, the original choice for the film, Sridevi gave it something special and to be honest I think this is my favourite performance of hers. But more on that later.

Sweater-wala Rajeev (Rishi) returns home from abroad after 15 years, to his loving mother (who probably had him when she was 11) in India ready to take over family business, till now managed by an unusually friendly Prem Chopra, who is hoping that in return for a good service Rajeev would marry his beloved daughter. It may all have just gone according to plan, but „Raju“ falls in love with a mysterious young woman he encounters in the misty-veiled ruins of an ancient mahal. Rajni (Sridevi) introduces herself as a poor orphan, and Raju is happy enough to accept that and prance around the trees with her. But breaking manager daughter´s heart may just yet prove costly....

Nagina starts as a typical romance against all odds movie, but as it progresses it turns more to an action and family drama (with saas-bahu conflict) with distinct horror features. Those are rather subtle – for Bollywood at least - which makes them all the more effective. It is a great reminder that you don´t need super computer effects to create an illusion of supernatural and mysterious being real. From the haunting hide-and-seek song in the ruins of an old building to ever-present snakes following the protagonists everywhere, it gives hints but is never „in your face“. It is not predictable – another considerable plus.

Rishi Kapoor was already beginning to look very much out of shape at the time. There can be no questioning his acting abilities, but as a jawaan chokra for whom the girls are vying for after one glance he was not suitable anymore. Though yes, the charm he excludes makes his pairing with Sridevi quite nice (something which cannot be said for any actress younger than her, whom he romanced in the decade that followed). His character is not too endearing either. Raju comes off as somebody who cannot deal with anything himself and is constantly in need of help and guidance, be it from the manager, his mother of Rajni. He is actually just a pawn moving from one stronger persona to the next.

The film belongs to Sridevi, as I have already mentioned. Though dubbed by someone else in several scenes, she did just absolutely wonderful in the role. The highlight has to be her interaction with Amrish Puri. The fierceness she projects while threatening him can only be matched by his own thundering dialogues of the dark and the supernatural. Indeed, it is these two performers who steal the show and others just do not match. The legendary Main Teri Dushman dance number is a crowning jewel of Sridevi´s performance – and film. A song that actually sounds rather unpleasant was made into a fabulous spectacle by the dancer and choreographer (it is, to my knowledge, the song that put Saroj Khan on the map.)

One thing I could have done without was the (un)neccesary comic track. Apart from the usual loud people who talk but don´t think it was full of fat people and nasty wives jokes, that everyone in the film seemed to find hilarious, while I kept rolling my eyes and cringe. Ironically the funniest moment has to be the very end: „they lived happily ever after“ title plastered over an image of Raju sobbing over his mother´s corpse was just too unexpected and too much of a temptation for the cynic in me.

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Hum Tum

Directed by: Kunal Kohli

Starring: Saif Ali Khan, Rani Mukherjee, Kirron Kher, Rishi Kapoor, Rati Agnihotri

Released: 2004

Verdict: destroy every copy – horrible – bad – whatever – flawed but enjoyable - good – great – amazing

It surprised me greatly how much I enjoyed this film on a second viewing after not being impressed by it the first time around. Usually this isn´t the case, rather you find yourself underwhelmed (or even embarrassed) by something that made you cheer, but watching it yet again ruins the magic, reveals the flaws, until you brush it aside with apologetic smile. I suppose the knowledge of what to expect actually helped the movie in my eyes, because previously I have been looking for something epic and genius (yep, another film over-praised) – and that just isn´t there.

The story is not that complicated so you wouldn´t be able to guess who ends up with whom in first five minutes. As soon as you see flamboyant, free-minded womanizer like Karan (Saif) and serious, sophisticated and elegant Rhea (Rani), you get the drift. They are to hate each other at the beginning and throughout the film he will realize she is not snooty and she will find out he is not useless. And they will fall in love. And you are right. From sight-seeing in Amsterdam, through brief meeting in New York we actually cover several years to find Rhea getting married to Sameer (Abhishek Bachchan in a short cameo), while Karan seems not to have changed at all. And another time shift – a year later: our leads find themselves in Paris. Karan unchanged, Rhea a widow, even quieter, more melancholic and introverted than before.

But indeed they finally find a way to each other, indeed they meet a few obstacles in form of confusion over their own feelings and inability to express them, and indeed they finally walk away from us with arms wrapped around each other. Kunal Kohli in the director´s chair however makes sure to give you a feeling of good cinema, and not just another mediocre fest. It is all about the presentation, the form – and actors, who all give a beautiful performance, although that changes nothing in Saif winning a National award for the film being a ridiculous turn of events. Rani looks utterly beautiful and her outfits are all stunning from wedding attire to a pink saree she´s wearing near the end.

I was extremely delighted to see Rati Agnihotri (as Saif´s unreasonably young mother – there is only 10 years between them, but oh well, it´s Bollywood aka Sexistville), even more so since she did have some very nice scenes, and I was even happier when Rishi Kapoor appeared (as Saif´s father), and actually squeeled when he and Rati shared a frame for a few moments. Kirron Kher pulls off yet another loving and funny mum, not failing to charm. Her whacky, loud Maa characters can certainly get tiring, but if you manage to keep her films apart and don´t watch them too soon one after another, it does strike the right chord.

So – why wasn´t I smitten the first time I watched Hum Tum? I expected seriously too much. As nice as the film is, it is no incredible piece of art or iconic romance. It doesn´t really stand out from the crowd, even though it belong to the better part of it. It is rather slow, and at times it drags. Saif doesn´t look his best. And the animated bits with two positively evil looking adolescents/children (?) are annoying and uttering some of the most clichéd dialogues. They are supposedly trying to tell us in what stage the relationship between Karan and Rhea is, but in fact they come off as completely unrelated. And not funny. And in the end they are two animated children. Who „fall in love“ with each other. Eww. Perhaps the animated little devils could have been growing up throughout the film? 

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Jab Tak Hai Jaan

Directed by: Yash Chopra

Starring: Shahrukh Khan, Katrina Kaif, Anushka Sharma

Released: 2012

Verdict: destroy every copy – horrible – bad – whatever – flawed but enjoyable - good – great – amazing

In spite of the fact there were other movies that earned more, I don´t think it´s wrong to say Jab Tak Hai Jaan was the biggest release of the last year, at least as far as expectations are concerned. Well, not mine really, because I never considered Yash Chopra a great director, I did not like the promos and it is no secret I don´t exactly love Katrina Kaif. That, I guess, allowed me to be more benevolent to the film than I would have been had I expected something amazing. Because the film is far from being so. In fact, it is quite far from being good even. Jab Tak Hai Jaan is simple entertainer that does manage to be bearable for most part, but you have to deliberately forgive it much, maybe even too much. The faint-worthy reviews that flooded the media right before the premier were talking about the most epic of the epic films ever, which to be honest I believe were strongly influenced by the sad demise of the director shortly before and nobody dared to give a bad review. It was only after a while that reviews more accurate and less impressed began to appear. Indeed, there are two ways of seeing Jab Tak Hai Jaan. First – while watching the only thing you see is that this is the last film of am extremely popular director, popular not only as a filmmaker, but as an off-screen persona also. Second – you watch it as a film, detached from the facts of reality, and without sentiments. And that was how I watched it. And that is why I can say Jab Tak Hai Jaan is among those Yash Chopra films that are simply not good.

No ammount of sexy could save the script from bombing.

To be fair it is not the direction that is wrong, not at all. The main culprit is the script full of plot holes and characters that are not appealing. Nonsense piled upon nonsense, until I was just left wondering how much further it can go. The first ten minutes are already full of loopholes. Why didn´t Samar jump for Akira sooner? Why after getting her out of water he obviously took time to dress her into his own coat BEFORE starting resuscitating her? Who is as stupid as to leave their army jacket with everything in the pockets inside (including „Dear Diary“) with a completely unknown person? Well, that is Major Samar Anand for you. A man of extreme sexiness, being all quiet and communicating with intense stares. As Akira finds out from the diary, he used to be 25 (or 28, some contradictory information were given) once upon a time, all hyper and full of zest, slogging happily in London and doing various jobs that didn´t really earn him much. He meets a rich girl Meera, who is unsure of what she wants in life, NEVER feels cold and is also a bit of a racist (back in the day she was a blonde white child begging God not to get her married to any Indian because they are brown), and falls in love with her. 

Did I mention that it is possible to become a waiter at the most snobbish London restaurant without a proper knowledge of English, just by being able to order fish quickly for a certain person?

It takes a while before she decides to return his feelings, because she is engaged to a white guy, but after a heart-to-heart talk with a mother who has left her as a child to be with her lover and did not contact her for years, Meera decides Samar is worth it. They are as happy as one can imagine. They have cute time and sexy time and let´s-run-through-the-whole-London-to-see-him-off-to-work time, until Samar decides not to heed the basic rules of driving which results into him being run over by a car and Meera doing what every sensible girlfriend would: she immediately promises to God that if he lets Samar live, she will never see him again. Because that is how God works for Meera, you see? He lets her pass exams and she gives up chocolate (instead for example promising to use her education to better the lives of others).

"Give me some acting skills and take my firstborn!"

And so when Samar comes to his senses, she comes to announce she loves him and she is ditching him. Instead of realizing Meera is dumb, Samar is angry at „sir Jesus“ and to prove Meera wrong he decides to join Indian army and play with his life (although if he really wanted to prove his point he could have just commit suicide) as a leader of a bomb-disposal unit in Kashmir. That is where annoying Discovery channel reporter Akira steps in with her completely inappropriate wardrobe and puke-worthy presentation of today´s generation of girls, and falls in love with Samar within days after learning his sob-story.

IMO those ten years in Kashmir did him well. Drooling.

Akira wants Samar to go to London for a day, so her bosses can verify her film on him, and after some thinking Samar indeed comes. And is hit by a car, which I can only see as a not too subtle a message of the film that you should look to the right and to the left before you cross the road. When he wakes up in a hospital, it turns out he has lost his memory. Well, not entirely. He only doesn´t remember anything that happened after his first accident – including Meera ditching him the same way she gave up chocolates. The genius doctor decides that the best way to bring on Samar´s memory is to create a false reality for him, where everybody will lie to him and make up fake memories, a reality where Meera is his wife and he owns a big restaurant in London. Because yeah, that is how he is surely going to remember he spent ten years playing with death on the other side of the world. 

That one moment when I could relate to Akira.

As for Meera, she did not marry anyone, did not age a day, and spent those ten years moping around. She agrees to be a part of the plan, but gives up few days later, because being close to Samar gives her pain – because she still hasn´t understand God is not a vengeful monster who works on her command and that he actually has understanding for things like love. Fortunately Samar gets his memory back – in one of the least exciting bomb-disposal scenes ever, and returns to Kashmir. If you think he finally came to his senses and realized Meera is just a dumb bench, you are wrong, and so we get to see him being reunited with her, as she randomly changes her mind in the end.

"Why should I let you defuse a bomb? I don´t even know who you are!"

"I am a random brown guy with obvious knowledge of explosives. I cannot possibly be a terrorist who came by to make sure things go boom. How will you live with yourself if you won´t  let me solve this without questioning?"

"Let him in. He´s sexy. There is no way this could go wrong."

The saddest part is that the film at no point really gives you a vibe of being an epic love story. That is largely given by Shahrukh sharing no chemistry whatsoever with either of the actresses, and not even the infamous three kisses he shares with Katrina, and around which a lot has been written, save anything. They are not as awkward as some people were describing them, but at the same time they were just so randomly thrown in and thanda and not needed one asks what lead Yash Chopra and SRK both to break an old rule they both had. At the same time I don´t understand the big hoopla about it.

"Yeah, it´s not like I haven´t showed my naked butt in a film before."

What actually irritated me was when, after watching the movie, I realized that Shahrukh had pretty much nothing to do. Everything shown he has done before – and better. There was not a single scene he could actually sink his teeth into, and indeed he served more like an impuls the two women reacted to more than and actual hero. Both Katrina and Anushka had, ironically, better roles (in terms of making things happen, not in terms of being good characters). Samar Anand thus becomes one of the least inspiring and memorable SRK´s characters. I also found it ridiculous that they tried to pass him off as being 25. Camera filters did erase his wrinkles (to the point he seemed a cartoon at times), but it couldn´t erase the maturity of his face, eyes, or voice. He is good, of course. But at the same time extremely lukewarm compared to his other roles. And I realized, that I don´t want Shahrukh to do films like these. I don´t want him to be a loverboy. Not again, not anymore. Let him do a mature romance. That is something I would love to see.

Katrina Kaif is no longer irritating on screen for me. And she can dance well. However her lack of acting skills is once again for everyone to see. Meera is not a well-written character (she has to be the worst YRF heroine ever), but there was potential in the role for a good performer to turn her into something. Katrina however, makes her only worse. What is it that Samar saw in Meera apart from her being hot? In the best moments she still seems detached from what is going on around her. Her expressions hardly ever changes, apart from her mouth being opened of shut, her dialogue delivery remains cringe-worthy. Meera´s dealing with God were nothing short of disgusting for me. I probably wouldn´t dare to say anything if Meera was a Hindu or Muslim, or belonged to any religion I am not a part of and hence cannot really comment on, but she was a Christian, and there I can firmly say, that she had the most deformed vision of God possible. A God who trades life successes for minor discomforts, a God to whom it is more important that you fulfill a promise that came out of your own mind and not on any demand of His than that His children prosper in love together, that is not a Christian God, that is some strange creature with ways more similar to devil than „sir Jesus“. 

Neutral.

Annoyed.

Uncertain.

Emotional

Relieved.

Devastated/suffering.

Happy.

Anushka Sharma, on the other hand, does have it in her to give us a good performance – Akira however is yet another in her growing collection of bubbly characters she has done in films like Patiala House, Ladies vs. Ricky Bahl and Band Baaja Baraat. Hyper, loud, cheerful, ambitious. And terribly annoying. In her case I am not sure if the blame is hers or if it should be put completely on Aditya Chopra and his poor writing skills. Anupam Kher, Rishi Kapoor and Neetu Singh have fleeting cameos, but are a welcomed relief. In fact the moment when Neetu recognizes „her daughter“ who had come to visit her, brought a tear in my eye.

"We should teach them what is romance, no?"

One thing I have to admit: The film doesn´t feel old-fashioned, in spite of some old-fashioned elements, Yash Chopra indeed was young in spirit. That however doesn´t make Jab Tak Hai Jaan any better. It is an average fair, below par next to everything Yash Chopra ever did (and I´ve seen), that even in the music department. Out of the whole soundtrack only Chhala and Jiya Re are worthy of more attention. The title song doesn´t stick in mind, and Saans and Heer are nice, but too whiny to listen to after a while. Ishq Shava I almost forgot about already. The opening titles melody I loved. In fact Shahrukh Khan riding his bike to the music was the best part of the whole movie for me.

Jab Tak Hai Jaan is a movie that doesn´t do justice to absolutely anyone involved, least of all an iconic director, whose films I may not love, but I still respect for his contribution to the cinema.

"This was supposed to top Lamhe, dammit."

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Student of the Year

Directed by: Karan Johar

Starring: Varun Dhawan, Siddhart Malhotra, Alia Bhatt, Rishi Kapoor, Sana Saeed

Released: 2012

Verdict: destroy every copy – horrible – bad – whatever – flawed but enjoyable - good – great – amazing

It is unashamedly obvious that in his latest venture Karan Johar tried to woo the younger generations of viewers more than anyone. Those who were just babies or maybe not even born at that point of time when his Kuch Kuch Hota Hai was creating waves, and thus escaped his „clutches“. Student of the Year pretty much abandons more mature audience and tries to capture the sympathies of the teens much like KKHH did about 15 years ago. However unlike his original audience Karan Johar did not mature as a filmmaker, and delivered yet another deeply average watch.

Interestingly enough told the same way as Barfi, SOTY mostly happens as a one huge flashback of several people coming together after years. And so from a hospital where an old dean is lying in a critical condition, we are thrown into a bursting-with-awesomeness colourful memory of school years spent studying at a super-elite and super-modern college where the most popular boy is the son of a local MP (Varun) and most popular girl (Alia) only wears Prada and Gucci etc. They are boyfriend/girlfriend of course, but she is rather upset with him because he seems not to be able to keep his hands off other scantily clad girls, calling it „being with friends“. The extremely boring plot then follows with „original“ twist – Shanaya (Alia) starts flirting with a new friend (and new most popular guy at school), the even cooler and more awesome and more perfect and accomplished Abhi (Siddhart), to make her boyfriend feel jealous. It works, but oh my, Abhi falls in love with her in the process as well. And if that is not enough for two friends to have problems, they find themselves thrown into a competition for the title of „Student of the Year“...

The story is such that it could have worked - if the three leads had a connection on screen, chemistry if you will, and sadly the three perfectly perfect best friends do not have that. I did not feel any connection in between them, which made it all rather pointless. Not only I did not buy the boys being in love with the girl, but at no point was I ever convinced about their friendship either. That no development of these essential relationships is shown does´t help. To give the movie some credit, it eventually does get some grip in the last hour – it´s just a pity that things that lead to it are so chaotic and yawn-worthy. The ending is not really predictable, and the outburst of one of the students near the end was a good one – it addressed some things even I myself questioned about the Student of the Year competition as a whole.

The debutants do reasonably well, although only Varun Dhawan really impresses in a several scenes (especially his confrontation with father is brilliant). All three somehow lack an on-screen presence, which becomes all too apparent the moment Kajol appears for a few seconds, making her already traditional blink and miss cameo for her Johar friend. Alia (looking 14, and that even in the „10 years later“ segment) is somehow lost in between her lovers and often has nothing to do but to look pretty in designer clothes and showing off more of her legs than may be necessary (though curiously there are more of half-nude males than females in this). The characters of Shanaya and Abhi seem shallow because their background is not well explored. We are given few hints, and that´s it. Unfair towards them and us. 

Rishi Kapoor charms and entertains – as long as you´re willing to accept yet another highly stereotypical presentation of gay men. Stereotypical are also many other characters: that pretty girl who thinks too much about herself and has nothing in her head really, the main heroine´s best friend who is not allowed to be girly and pretty but needs to be treated like a tomboy, Rohan´s „chamcha“, who does everything he wants but then turns against him the moment he has a chance, even a fat nerd boy makes an appearance. There is hardly any thought put into the side characters, and considering how many are there, it´s rather sad, as opportunities not taken always are.

There were some things that made me go slightly (and more) WTF, the biggest one being Rohan´s father taking his younger son´s classmates and God knows who else to Thailand to attend a wedding of his other son. Not at all smooth an excuse for shooting at foreign location. Few more of many problems I had: I have to admit I kept confusing Varun and Siddhart in other than close up shots. Still do, but yeah, this is not anyone´s fault. However, considering none of the students had any relationship with the dean whatsoever.... why did they even care about him that much to leave everything and come to his deathbed – especially some of them? Also – why does Shanaya end up with Abhi? Last thing we are shown is that she „is done“ with both the guys. Ten years later she is Abhi´s wife. Well... how about showing how that happened, since she was the main female lead? I must give Karan a credit for shaking off at least one of the prejudices of mine by not leaning on a big bankable star and taking the newcomers instead. SOTY though is a silly walla film that probably wouldn´t get half as noticed had it been made by a less prolific director.

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