Once Upon a Time in Mumbaai

Directed by: Milan Luthria

Starring: Ajay Devgn, Emraan Hashmi, Kangana Ranaut, Prachi Desai, Randeep Hooda

Released: 2010

My rating: destroy every copy – horrible – bad – whatever – flawed but enjoyable - good – great – amazing

What can a director responsible for overhyped Dirty Picture do with a bunch of actors I would rank from „not interested“ to „dislike“ do? Surprisingly a film I really enjoyed. I have been ignoring this one for quite some time (Why? Read the first line!) but as a person who always insists on watching original before a remake and prequel before a sequel I finally sat down and hit the play button. I knew the film was quite acclaimed, but public opinion rarely sounds in tune with my own sentiments.

From time to time there is nothing better than a good Bollywood gangster flick and Once Upon a Time in Mumbaai has ticked every bracket needed to be good. Dark, but never gruelsome or lingering too much on the nasty effects of criminal activity, OUTIM is more or less a masala with a heart, in spite of being a gangster tale, and set in very attractively presented setting of 70s and 80s, thus evoking bit of that nostalgy everybody likes too.

Inspired by real events (at least I found it described like) the film revolves around an idea that criminals and their crimes are of different nature depending on what they have in heart and mind. A willful, ambitious kid that has a secure home grows up to be a selfish and self-loving individual hungry for power, while the one whose attention and approval he seeks came literally out of nothing and while he managed to become the „king“ of the Mumbai underworld his actions are dictated by his selflessness and love for common folk. One is a smuggler, the other is a killer. The interaction and play-off between larger-than-life yet level-headed Sultan (Ajay Devgn) and impulsive, as well as somehow childish, immature Shoaib is the backbone of the film, which in the end gets broken and leaves you a bit numb for a while.

The film has a nice, tight screenplay, that is not weighted down even by two romantic sub-tracks, which bring further understanding of what men the main protagonists actually are. The relationship between Sultan and a Bollywood star played by Kangana Ranaut (I suppose a character created to remind us of notorious Mandakini) is based on caring and love, Shoaib´s selfishness and possessiveness has the upper hand in his love life. His girlfriend (Prachi Desai) is more or less seen as his property, bending to his wishes even when she doesn´t like them or are simply unacceptable to her own mindset.

The film´s strengths are above all good script and performance by Ajay Devgn. Dressed in white, he embodies a towering figure in the game of power, and has an aura of invincibility. He carries the film on his shoulders and charisma and doesn´t make a false step. Emraan Hashmi, whom I just cannot like for whatever reason, is good enough, mostly because he IS supposed to be unlikeable. Kangana and Prachi both play their roles convincingly, even though Kangana´s dialogue delivery and voice will always be a problem. Special mention goes to special cameo by Randeep Hooda, another guy I don´t really care for in general, but like him here.

Once Upon a Time in Mumbai has its share of flaws and illogical moments (why in the world would you need to deconstruct a railway track just so a lorry can ride over it?), and it is not the most exciting gangster movie out there either. But it works, has solid performances and superb music, as well as that already mentioned pleasant vintage touch.

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Himmatwala

Directed by: Sajid Khan

Starring: Ajay Devgn, Tamanna Bhatia, Paresh Rawal, Zarina Wahab

Released: 2013

Verdict: destroy every copy – horrible – bad – whatever – flawed but enjoyable - good – great – amazing

When I reviewed the famous (and overrated as hell) 1983 Himmatwala some time ago, I expressed a thought that any remake can only be better. I am not going to eat my words. At least not entirely. It is bad, quite bad actually. Maybe even as bad. But worse it is not. And frankly while it deserved severe criticism, I don´t think it was as horrible as critics made it sound. I don´t think they even try to be fair when it comes to Sajid Khan, who has never been their favourite thanks to his overconfident attitude that understandably rubs them the wrong way (me too, but he has yet to insult me personally.) In the end Himmatwala flopped – very much deservedly, but at the same time it is not the worst film of the year by far – something many have been trying to prove.

There are things that are different from the 1983 film (I don´t want to say „original“ since I am not sure it was „original“ - more like a remake of something too) and there are things that remain untouched. Unfortunatelly the elements Sajid Khan decided to keep are often what makes the whole movie seem regressive instead of initiating an avalanche of nostalgia among 30+ audience. And so a wife has to stay with her abusive husband, because you know – family honour! And evil women wear mini-skirts, so when they suddenly shift to sarees you realize they mended their ignoble ways. And an attempt at morally „right“ approach towards rapists may be understandable from a certain point of view, but again it is just violence and violence only. Threw in a gay joke or two, just to be sure you are funny. And if the audience did not get it, make it really obvious, that you are making fun now. 1-2-3-laugh!

I was glad that Ravi (Ajay) did not suffer from a memory loss, unlike his predecessor, and I liked how they changed his identity. Unfortunatelly Ajay Devgn may be a great action hero, but his attempt at comedy don´t go well. He is, much like Jeetendra, too old for the role, and if not that he is definitely too old for his heroine. Tamanna Bhatia, whom I really like and adore, have been making waves down in the South, but she is yet to make her mark on Bollywood map, and for her sake (and the fangirl in me who is ready to love her) I hope her next Hindi venture will offer her more scope. She does well in her small role, her expressions are delightful and she dances beautifully. Paresh Rawal in ridiculous get-up is not funny. And Zarina Wahab as the new-age suffering Maa has nothing on epic crying Maas of the past.

That the film is over the top, ridiculous and just full of loopholes goes without saying. Sajid Khan is hated by critics also because of making most ridiculous movies that, as many feel, are made to mock their intelligence. But my peeve against Sajid is a bit different: I don´t think he is a good story teller. Even simplistic, silly cinema can be worth your money if it keeps you entertained, but not this. Himmatwala is an example of lazy filmmaking, trying to ride the masalla wave, that, however, can only end up in a blind alley after a while.

The marketing line of „80s will be back“ did not lie, but who in the world wants Bollywood 80s back? It is actually quite depressing to think that 30 years have caused a very little progress in the minds of some people (quite a few people – Himmatwala may have fopped but it still earned around 60 crore). Oh - if you really want to see a hand-to-paw combat with a tiger, I recommend to watch the „rascalla“ scene from Om Shanti Om over this.

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Son of Sardaar

Directed by: Ahswni Dhir

Starring: Ajay Devgn, Sanjay Dutt, Sonakshi Sinha, Juhi Chawla

Released: 2012

Verdict: destroy every copy – horrible – bad – whatever – flawed but enjoyable - good – great – amazing

Son of Sardaar is fun. Light-hearted, uncomplicated, straight-forward and most importantly family friendly. It is possibly the only big masala film of 2012 that has no sexual innuendos, no double meaning hints, no gay jokes or raunchy dance numbers. It is silly, oh yes, the amount of silly is quite considerable, and it definitely makes clear yet again that Bollywood action is more and more going South (where gravity means nothing and physics wanders around unemployed) and hence not believable in any way – which in this case ads to the „family friendly“ I have already mentioned, because the „violence“ shown is so over the top you just cannot take it seriously. The major weakness is the very beginning, that may turn many people off, as it is rather cringe worthy. Taking a jump of Big Ben and dancing among a horde of white women in desi clothing (my ears would hurt at how much voices would raise on social websites against such cultural appropriation – and they would be right) and fighting off white goons a minute later made even me considering if I should even bother. But once Salman Khan´s useless cameo is over, things do get better. A lot.

The story has roots in an age old enmity between two rich Punjabi families, who for generations have been slaughtering one another and taking revenges and so started an unending cycle of bloodshed. Until a wife of a recently murdered one decided she has had enough, took her children and fled from India. She saved herself and children, but complicated lives of the other family, of which various members took various oaths: to never eat ice-cream, to never have a cold drink, and to never marry – until the last offspring of the hated family was not killed by their hands. But how to fulfill such promises if the person in question is nowhere to be found? And so there are is no ice-cream or cold drinks for some, and no shaadi for others. For over twenty years.

Then one day out hero Jassi is distracted from his pathetic dancing with white girls in London by a letter summoning him to Punjab because of some inherited land, and Jassi flies down to India with an intention to sell it and then peacefully return. While on his way he meets feisty no-nonsense girl Sukhmit and falls for her immediately. What luck she travels to the same place as he does. And even greater luck awaits it seems: after he looses her on the train station, he runs into Billu, who invites him home, and it turns out Sukhmit is his cousin. But don´t be fooled. The luck is not about finding Sukhmit. It lies in Jassi being within the walls of Billu´s house. For he is the one they want to kill, and they soon find that out. But to harm a guest in any way is just not done. They have to wait for him to step out. And Jassi, completely shocked upon learning the truth by chance, does everything that might delay his leaving.

What surprised me was a simplicity of the plot and settings. Apart from the train traveling at the beginning and some wild chasing near the end everything happens in one place. The plot is also very straightforward, and the filmmakers managed to keep it interesting for most of the film. True enough, some of the scenes could have been shorter, because you do get the idea of what is going on, and after some point you grow a bit impatient and want things to move forward – had film lasted 2 hours only, it would have helped. The songs are put into the film well, but sadly none really captured my interest – and the Po Po song is definitely a product of some really ill mind.

All the involved actors prove they have a great comic timing and talent. Ajay pleasantly surprised me, because I expected him to be an unbeatable machine without a trace of fear, and while he definitely shows that when necessary he will give everyone a lesson, his Jassi was more of an average guy wanting nothing but everyone to get along. Sanjay Dutt too is very good, my only complaint is: why did he have to look so bad? The styling was just horrible – and made me question who would wait for over 20 years to marry him? Especially if the bride herself is the beauteous Juhi Chawla? 

Now, Juhi in this film you either like or hate. And it is really up to how you decide. Indeed, I felt like I was put before a choice. Because I could say she was a delight to watch, a sweetheart and a cutie, who deserved more screenspace and I would mean it. And at the same time I could say she was over the top and took it to the annoying level, and it would still be kinda true. But I was happy to see her in a mainstream film after so long, so I largely go with the first. Sonakshi is the weakest of the four leads, which is no insult to her, since all are seasoned actors who have proved themselves numerous times in the past, at the same time Sonakshi definitely sells you Sukhmit as a real character, and that goes to her credit. Although yeah, she looks like Ajay´s daughter throughout.

And so I ended up nearly loving Son of Sardaar and cannot understand all the hate it got.

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Singham

Directed by: Rohit Shetty

Starring: Ajay Devgn, Prakash Raj, Kajal Agarwal

Released: 2011

Verdict: destroy every copy – horrible – bad – whatever – flawed but enjoyable - good – great – amazing

When I watched it for the first time I was still under the influence of Dabangg, which I had seen just recently, and somehow in my mind I couldn´t help but compare everything in Singham to it. Watching Ajay Devgn beating up the trash out of villains somehow gave me a feeling I have seen something like it already and ultimately Dabangg could have been blamed that I did not enjoy Singham as I probably would if it was released much later or much earlier. It was only during second (and third) viewing that I could appreciate the movie. True – the setting, the seemingly almighty policeman from a village in a familiar khaki uniform, the booming main theme playing whenever he gets angry, the enemies involved in high politics, all that are features the film has in common with Dabangg (and other similar films that have began popping up like mushrooms after rain lately), but Bajirao is not corrupted Chulbul, his plight is not instigated by family problems and his lady love is not at all pleasant to watch. 

The introduction shot. Just so you know that this ain´t gonna be about a socially awkward biscuit seller.

Bajirao Singham is a police inspector serving at the place closest to his heart, his home village. He makes sure no injustice is commited against anyone, and in return he gets devotion and support from one and all. However then he insults a politician Jaikant Shikre – who in fact is nothing more than a complete villain who earns money and is responsible for criminal activities like kidnappings and murders – and to take revenge on him Shikre has Singham transferred to Goa, a town that is completely under his influence, and where Singham has nobody to help him in his efforts. As he soon comes to know, there used to be another police inspector who tried to destroy Shikre and uncover his illegal activities, but ultimately, after months of mental torture and false allegations concerning his own honour, he took his own life. Singham, however, refuses to fall into the same trap.

"I will pee on everything you love."

There is a rather useless love story line thrown into the movie, but it doesn´t contribute anything to the film or even the character of Singham. And unfortunately the actress is so annoying and unconvincing she makes it all one big bore. Childish and immature as Kavya, Kajal Agarwal is not a good match for mature and very manly Ajay Devgn, looking like his daughter. In the scenes with her Ajay also seems to „turn off“, while in his individual scenes he is wonderful. Forget Salman Khan. If there is one actor whose one angry look will make your knees shake and whom you would instantly believe he is capable of tearing iron apart it is Ajay. He is brilliantly matched as far as performance is concerned, by his evil enemy Shikre aka Prakash Raj, who makes his villain a threatening and yet not inhuman (read: not without a certain lack of confidence and some major fears) persona. You can never cheer for Shikre, but you have to cheer for Mr. Raj. Rest of the supporting cast too are good, it was a pleasure seeing Ashok Saraf.

"Thappad se darr nahi lagta sahab!"

"How many times...."

"..do I have to tell you...."

"..this ain´t bloody Dabangg!?"

While I am not completely a fan of all the south masala remakes, Singham is one of the good ones. It has tremendous repeat value (I was quite surprised when I found out I was enjoying it so much the second time, in spite of knowing what and how things are to happen) and although at first I was ready to dismiss it as a wanna be Dabangg, I have to take my first impression back. Singham has things to offer that make it stand on its own feet, in spite of outer similarity to other, similarly presented movies.

But the heroine really sucks.

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Bol Bachchan

Directed by: Rohit Shetty

Starring: Ajay Devgn, Abhishek Bachchan, Asin, Prachi Desai

Released: 2012

Verdict: destroy every copy – horrible – bad – whatever – flawed but enjoyable - good – great – amazing 

Bol Bachchan is a really phunny philm. Working with ever popular formula of lies, lies and more lies creating confusion and more confusion, very much like another phunny philm earlier this year (the one about a house being full), but it actually has a bit of a plot and smaller number of characters which makes it less memory demanding.

Abbas and Sania, a Muslim brother and sister, are forced to take refuge with a family friend in a small town, which is prospering under landlord Prithviraj, a man of muscles and a heart that loves truth above everything else. Try to lie to him even a little and thou shalt know what pain is. Then again this is all rather unfortunate since he is very easy to lie to, as Abbas finds out soon enough, as circumstances make him to do just that. And later he is too scared of Prithviraj and starts making more and more lies, which are good enough to satisfy the landlord, but at the same time give a terrible headache to Abbas, Sania and a whole bunch of other people who get involved. A concept very simple, but executed with lots of freshness (and did that stage play near the end crack me up).

Abhishek Bachchan redeemed himself after the atrocity he served us this January and confirmed yet again he is a very pleasant actor who needs to be presented more as a common man than a genius super-cop/super-con. Also multistarrers do him good, at least those that have another strong performer (here it is Ajay Devgn) to pretty much „complete“ him on screen (how effin´ good they both looked beating up an army of goondas – twice - without even getting sweat stains?). Ajay has always been projected more as an action hero, at least as far as I know, but lately he has been using his great comic sense as well, and as an English-loving yet totally messing up meaning of words and thus delivering some hilarious one-liners (A brother in need is a sister indeed! My eyes have fallen from my face!) macho landlord he rules. For me he stole the show, though Abhishek too has moments of utter brilliance. His notorious gay act, that worked for him so much in Dostana, and actually seems to be his most popular avatar (ouch!), is used here as well, then again it is left soon enough not to weary off. Aided in comedy also by Krushna Abhishek (forever known to me as Govinda´s nephew) and other minor character artists, all the protagonists make sure your sides are hurting from all the laughs even before the interval. 

Asin and Prachi both are presented beautifully, but Asin, as gorgeous as she undoubtedly is, lacks „it“. She has a great beauty, yet no personality on screen, nothing that would catch your eye as soon as she is not the only one in the frame. She does decent, but I´m becoming a bit tired of her decent, because apart from Ghajini that is all she has shown so far. She has not one role that would allow her to perform (and evolve), she seems to be choosing only films where starcast pretty much guarantees a hit. You cannot really talk about a chemistry between the girls and their romantic interests in the movie – well, not between Asin and Ajay (yep yep... age difference too visible – and I am afraid this complaint is going to be more and more frequent in my reviews concerning films by Mr. Devgn, Mr. Kumar and also the Khans etc), fortunatelly Ajay and Abhishek have enough chemistry to make it work.

It could have been 30 minutes shorter, because like this it was getting a bit wearisome at one point, and as a girl I´m not really into the obligatory car porn Rohit Shetty enjoys so much. There are only three songs – two lovey-dovey ones that I really liked and enjoyed, and the one playing during the opening credits and featuring none other than Amitabh Bachchan, which obviously has no other point than to boost his son´s movie at least a little with his legendary status. And I didn´t get why they were jumping out of huge Fabergé eggs either.

If I should sum it up, Bol Bachchan is a fun ride with a heart.

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U, Me aur Hum

Directed by: Ajay Devgn
Starring: Ajay Devgn, Kajol, Divya Dutta, Sumeet Raghavan
Released: 2008

Verdict: destroy every copy – horrible – bad – whatever – flawed but enjoyable - good – great – amazing

Though we can doubt Ajay Devgn´s good taste when it comes to atrocious Hinglish title (which could very easily turn into a nice Mein, Tum aur Hum), his ambition to stamp his authority on all branches of cinema is nothing to be dismissed easily. U Me aur Hum is a proof of this. From direction, to acting as the male lead, scripting the story and production he has the power over all, the film apparently being a cherished baby of his. However though giving it absolutely all (including his own wife), this off-spring does not turn out what the parent has once imagined.

It all starts highly simply. Ajay meets Piya (Kajol) on a lavish sea cruise and it is a love at first sight for him, while she finds him kinda creepy. To win her over Ajay chooses one of the safest ways – he reads her scrapbook/diary and immediately takes advantage of knowing her preferences – without being told. And isn´t every girl´s dream to find a guy who can read your every wish in your eyes? So Ajay turns a dog-lover, a dance champion and many others things in mere days, in spite of never being a single of those things before boarding the ship. But his love is true, you see, and finally he confesses to his deed to Piya, who is naturally very disappointed and asks him to leave. He does, but makes her promise to think about their relationship and leaves her his phone number. It takes some time, but because this is a love story movie she of course calls. And they get married. Just like that. Ther life could not be more happy actually. True, Piya gets rather forgetful, but otherwise nothing spoils the joy, especially when she gets pregnant.

"I luv uuuuuu!"

"Creepy is the new sexy."

But what if a mere forgetful was to turn out to be an a slowly advancing Alzheimer? Because that actually is what her occasional, but still more frequent and serious blank outs of memory are. And even thought you have suspected nothing something is wrong, this definitely comes as a nasty surprise. Up until that moment a highly boring film speeds up and I had to witness Kajol forgetting the most basic things. That she is married. That she is pregnant. That she has given birth. That her baby in in the tub full of water!!! Her black outs get more and more serious and scary as the disease is rapidly progressing. And there is more uneasy to watch stuff in store. Ajay suffering. Ajay admitting his wife into a medical center. Ajay wanting to take her home again. Kajol screaming. Kajol screeching. Kajol crying. Ajay weeping. You can be 100 % sure you shall feel next to physically sick by the end of the film – that ironically (and illogically) returns to the blissful pinky coloured mood of the beginning.

To watch this woman loosing her mind at times was just too painful.

More then sad I found the movie incredibly disturbing, and that in a very unpleasant manner. The great performances by both Ajay and Kajol, and equally as great Divya Dutta and Sumeet Raghavan in supporting roles, nothing could justify for me the terrible pointlessness of the suffering described. Don´t get me wrong - I think they did a very good job portraying such a serious illness (though I´m sure some of it was not really accurate), but at times it was all just way too much - especially since the only possible message (of not leaving your loved ones alone when they need you) was rather too subtle and came too late in the film. Several times I considered not finishing the movie not because it would be bad, but because I felt sick watching it. The absolutely unbearable scene is the near drowning child and even though it´s clear the kid survives I could not watch that.

Chalo darling. You have Alzhemeir so let´s admit you into.... an aquarium!

Music was terrible, no plus points there, and the background score during the first hour was annoying.

Performances deserve a high rating, but I could not enjoy this film and I´m sure I don´t want to see it ever again. „Sometimes the greatest journey is the distance of all people“ claims the official motto. And sometimes the greatest distance is between beginning of the film to its end.

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The big 2011 overview

2011 was kinda meh for Bollywood. True enough, there were blockbusters, there were expectations, there were hypes and there were big stars shining. But overal the quality/entertainment level of the films was rather low, performances except for few nothing amazing and music was mostly forgettable. During the year I watched exactly 157 movies, out of which only 35 were 2011 releases (as I write I am still yet to watch The Dirty Picture and several more films like Shaitaan or Shor in the city).

The year started for me with No one killed Jessica, followed by the Deol opus Yamla Pagla Deewana. I have tried to give a chance to Dil Toh Bachcha Hai Ji – and you can read in this article how it ended. Next on the list was a film that sounded interesting...

Directed by: Kiran Rao
Starring: Aamir Khan, Prateik Babbar, Monica Dogra

Verdict: destroy every copy – horrible – bad – whatever – flawed but enjoyable - good – great – amazing

The last of the January releases I chose to sit through was Aamir Khan´s Dhobi Ghat....It is not a bad film... but nothing that I would label good either. Somehow it refuses to fit into such cathegories.  There is not much of a story and ending is apparently missing. I did like the overall atmosphere though, without ever being to Mumbai or India it engulfed me and let me with an illusion I actually, for a few minutes, understood. All other three actors (playing Shai, Munna and Yasmine) were great. Especially "Yasmine" touched me. In fact her "letters" were the most interesting and engaging part of the movie. Until Aamir discovers them, nothing makes much sense really. As for Mr. Perfectionist himself, he disappoints big time. Maybe because one would actually expect him to act, not just smoke and watch TV.

Directed by: Nikhil Advani
Starring: Akshay Kumar, Rishi Kapoor, Anushka Sharma, Dimple Kapadia

Verdict: destroy every copy – horrible – bad – whatever – flawed but enjoyable - good – great – amazing

As February came it was Akshay Kumar´s turn to arrive on the screen with his first release of the year called Patiala House (just another in a long list of English titles that decorated the posters in 2011 – from already mentioned No one killed Jessica to Ready, Rockstar, Rascals, Desi Boyz and of course The Dirty picture just to mention a few). A heck lot of nonsense and unrealistic conspiring almost completely killed off a promising family drama with decent performances – notably from Rishi Kapoor AND Akshay himself, who has laid off his comedy king image for a while and regained some of the respect as an ACTOR (only to loose it again few weeks later.....). The film  didn´t really give me anything, but it captured some part of human relations well. Especially loved how everybody was urging Akshay to stand up to his father, but when he did they were all cowards and nobody supported him. How very human.

Right behind Akshay it was Priyanka Chopra´s first 2011 release 7 Khoon Maaf that hurriedly followed. It flopped. But to me it was one of the best films of the year, even though I´m aware that is a rather unpopular opinion. If nothing Priyanka truly impressed me – unlike her co-star from Fashion Kangana Ranaut, who messed up completely in Tanu weds Manu. It is truly unfortunate when a lead actress is the greatest weakness of otherwise enjoyable movie. March did not bring any great pleasant surprises either. You can read here what I thought of some of the releases, however one of the films originally scheduled for March I´ve only managed to watch much later, so it is missing from the article.

Directed by: Rohan Sippy
Starring: Abhishek Bachchan, Bipasha Basu, Aditya Pancholi, Prateik Babbar, Govind Nameo

Verdict: destroy every copy – horrible – bad – whatever – flawed but enjoyable - good – great – amazing

Now this is a movie definitely worth seeing. I really liked the way the narrative was done in the first part, the editing was very clever and in spite of various flashbacks not confusing at all. Performances are very good from everybody, but Abhishek is a miscast. Not because he would act badly, but because he is plain boring in the cop roles. Boring boring boring. It was during his scenes that the film would occasionally run short of breath. The guy needs to stop being a cop or a cool dude or a cool cop which is what he´s been trying to make his niché of, and find something else soon. Basically everybody else was more interesting. Deepika´s item number, which was so heavily propagated, is completely useless and not even well shot. Showstealer is none other than Aditya Pancholi, whom I used to hate in his 90s movies, but is growing on me more with advancing time.

Together with Dum Maro Dum Lara Dutta´s heartwarming, uncomplicated Chalo Dilli was the saving grace of April, which was also the month responsible for possibly the WORST of all 2011 releases. Yes, I´m talking of none other than Thank you, an Anees Bazmi film that could be used anywhere in the world as an example of how not to do cinema. Fortunately the month of May was more merciful enough to wipe Thank you and Anees Bazmi from my mind, even if only for a while. One of the best movies of the year was for me Stanley Ka Dabba. Rather unglamorous title is hiding a heartwarming, moving story, so full of love for life! Speaking about love, I´ve quite enjoyed two romantic comedies released the same month.

Directed by: Bumpy
Starring: Sraddha Kapoor, Taaha Shah

Verdict: destroy every copy – horrible – bad – whatever – flawed but enjoyable - good – great – amazing

I loved the girl! She had so much energy and I think she´s REALLY talented. She emoted terribly well. Plus she has nice voice. Plus she looks good. The pace it´s even throughout the film, it doesn´t slow down, it´s never boring. The music is catchy. And from beginning to end there was no place for any unrelated subplots that would slow it down. The special appearance by Ali Zafar, however brief, was a VERY pleasant surprise... However the revenge the girl took was far too drastic and violent for my taste. I would have preferred something more subtle. Also the use of swearing words was completely unnecesarry. Overally I really enjoyed this, even though sometimes against better judgement.

Directed by: S. Manasvi
Starring: Tusshar Kapoor, Amrita Rao

Verdict: destroy every copy – horrible – bad – whatever – flawed but enjoyable - good – great – amazing

Lot less impressive than Luv Ka The End, rather nice, "normal" film. Nothing wrong with it. Nothing outstanding in it. Some clichés, some plotholes, more clichés. No surprises, no big twists. Watching it however I realized how much I miss intensity in romantic films like this. There used to be so much intense emotions in older films about young people. Now... it´s just not there. Sad. Amrita Rao looks gorgeous and acts well, I wonder why is she seen so little and why is she not sought out for projects with actors like Imran Khan, Ranbir Kapoor? Instead she is stuck with Tusshar, who acts OK and has a charisma of a banana peel.

Directed by: Sunny Bhambhani
Starring: Sahil Mehta, Mannat Ravi, Vikay Katyal, Priyam Galav

Verdict: destroy every copy – horrible – bad – whatever – flawed but enjoyable - good – great – amazing

And on a love note we have breezed into the month of June, riding the Love Express with a debutant director and debutant actors in four main leads. A simple story about two days spent in a train filled with two families going for a wedding, while the engaged couple is just not interested in each other, and trying to find a way out of the planned relationship. Perhaps predictable, but very sweet, and although one wasn´t exactly having fits of laughter, I had a smile plastered on my face throughout.

However at this content moment Anees Bazmi decided to attack again, even more agressively than before with the mess called Ready, for which I definitely was not ready. Salman Khan  not acting while Asin was being wasted and everybody swinging their hips in a terrible choreography while the unbearable Dhinka Chika was screaming from the amplions was more than I could digest. And the trend of lame comedies did not end there. Indra Kumar served us his Double Dhamaal (review coming eventually) and had us questioning our own intelligence once again. The two films releasing on the same day - 1st July, were both heavily propagated and especially the second one raise a lot of questions, expectations and curiosity. But before that just a few words about the first one.

Directed by: Puri Jagannath
Starring: Amitabh Bachchan, Hema Malini, Sonu Sood

Verdict: destroy every copy – horrible – bad – whatever – flawed but enjoyable - good – great – amazing

I didn´t really know how to watch this, how to treat this. I did get it was supposed to be a overview of sorts, a tribute to the body of work of Amitabh Bachchan, bringing out of the wardrobe his image of an angry young man.... with the difference this was an angry old man. And somehow, angry old men are not cool. And wearing what Big B was in the film, the way he behaved, made the character completely cringeworthy. None of the storylines did really capture my attention or stood out. One of those films I have forgotten as soon as they ended.

Directed by: Abhinay Deo
Starring: Imran Khan, Vir Das, Kunaal Roy Kapur

Verdict: destroy every copy – horrible – bad – whatever – flawed but enjoyable - good – great – amazing

Shit happens. Yeah, it does. I was not sure what to expect from this one either. I thought that I will be either hilariously entertained or utterly disgusted (the promos suggested the latter). Well, the film surprised - I was neither. In fact I don´t recall a film that would leave me so completely unmoved (into any direction). Several times I smiled. Several times I didn´t like what I saw. Overally the film seemed like a background score for me thinking about completely different things! Imran suffers the fate of Aamir in 3 Idiots - meaning he is completely overshadowed by his two friends, who steal the show and actually provide the laughter. I cannot help but shake my head in disbelief over the claims this is a movie that shall take Bollywood into a new direction. There really was nothing that revolutionary or different from other half mindless half witty comedies, except for the overuse of swearing language, which by the way has no point, and it´s offensive for the pure sake of being offensive. It doesn´t hurt to see the film, but it´s nothing not-to-be-missed either. The best thing about it is actually a quick pace and quick changes of situations.

After Stanley Ka Dabba another movie that really impressed me was highly praised Zindagi Na Milegi Dobara (where for the first time I ever I did not feel the need to strangle Katrina Kaif on the spot). However Ajay Devgn´s Sigham  left me mostly unimpressed from a single reason only – throughout the movie I´ve had a feeling I have seen it all. Just last year in Dabangg. There was hardly anything different about it. And July was ended on a very low note with an attempt at historical drama that went just all wrong. Gandhi to Hitler can be considered the biggest joke the filmmakers played on us last year, at least I hope it was meant to be a joke. And then June turned into July.

Directed by: Prakash Jha
Starring: Amitabh Bachchan, Saif Ali Khan, Deepika Padukone

Verdict: destroy every copy – horrible – bad – whatever – flawed but enjoyable - good – great – amazing

I liked this. Well, not all, but most of it. My liking doesn´t really have much to do with the cast or performances (which were all good), more with the topic and me being a university student just realizing how great business education really can be. In fact there were several lines in the films I´m definitely noting down, because there was so much blunt truth in them. Aarakshan is basically a one man show and that one man is this time charismatic and not ridiculous Amitabh Bachchan. Saif goes out of mind as soon as he leaves the screen. Deepika has great expressions. All she needs to work on is the intensity of her voice and some modulation, but she proved again to be my dark horse for the future years. First part was more tight and exciting then the second and to cut the film´s length down to 2 hours would have been a good idea as well.

And then of course Bodyguard came along.

Directed by: Siddique
Starring: Salman Khan, Kareena Kapoor

Verdict: destroy every copy – horrible – bad – whatever – flawed but enjoyable - good – great – amazing

Blockbuster after just few days, it was promoted as an epic love story that gives Kareena Kapoor her best role ever and Salman Bhai bhi. If there is one thing that I loved, really, really loved, it was Teri Meri. That song is awesome, full of feeling, very dramatic and yet not over the top. The picturization was good too, though Salman did way too much unnecessary running. I´m not going to say he cannot act, that wouldn´t be true as he used to act in good old days, but past few years he really doesn´t bother at all. Kareena, whom I learned to adore on screen, acts, but has nothing to work with really. Other characters are so completely sidelined it´s not even worthy talking about them, and poor villains had TWO scenes.... The fat guy trying his luck at being the new Johnny Lever annoyed the heck out of me, though I agree I loved his T-shirts stating "Six pack coming soon" and "Looking good is not a crime". The two main characters are very poorly drawn and basically boring, they don´t really go through any development - and neither does their relationship. In fact I still keep wondering where did the love came from? And similarly so I couldn´t feel for them as a couple, because the script and story simply didn´t give me a chance to feel for them, feel their love, nothing. The action was ridiculous. I can take a lot, but there is limit to everything. Way too many cheap computer effects. It was definitely better then Salman´s previous release Ready, but very overrated as far as box office goes still.

The second half of the year was considerably better, even if it held some real crap together with real gems. The better times were heralded by sweet, simple, predictable, but still highly entertaining Mere Brother Ki Dulhan, which in spite of starring Imran Khan and Katrina Kaif in the leads (none of them being a mind-blowing performers) was fine to watch.

Directed by: Ali Abbas Zafar

Starring: Imran Khan, Katrina Kaif, Ali Zafar

Verdict: destroy every copy – horrible – bad – whatever – flawed but enjoyable - good – great – amazing

While on one hand Mere Brother Ki Dulhan definitely belongs to the better films of 2011 and offered me a pleasant enough watch, on the other hand it is one of those completely predictable films that need something special to make it work also on a second watch – a memorable performance, a smashing soundtrack, a write-it-into-stone dialogue.... and that this film does not really provide. The title itself pretty much gives away the the plot too.

Ali Zafar, an NRI settled in London, breaks up with his girlfriend (or rather – she breaks up with him and since we´re on a breaking spree also breaks his HD TV). Mere minutes later he phones his younger brother Imran Khan (living on the other side of the planet in India) and insists his brother finds him a bride (yeah, really). And Imran starts searching. After many crazy girls lining up he of course discovers THE one in the form of lovely but boring Katrina Kaif, who is boring even while doing illegal rock concerts at Agra, but to Imran she does not seem boring at all and soon enough he decides she is the right match for his brother. The criminally side-lined Ali Zafar was the best performer of the three main leads, the most natural and charming one, but he only gets some space in the second half, when he comes to India to get married. What is unknown to him is that Imran has managed to find himself in love with future bhabhi and now is not exactly keep to simply hand her over to his brother....

Nice and sweet, yet without repeat value. Mere Brother Ki Dulhan makes everyone in it likeable, but does not rise up above a standart colourful Yashraj romcom that the production house in question loves to churn out time and again.

 
At the other end of movie entertainment John Abraham´s Force gave us some serious chills as well as the most menacing new villains and in yet a different field Shahid Kapoor tried to sell his romance with Sonam Kapoor titled Mausam (review coming eventually) to the audience – unfortunatelly and deservingly he did not succeed. However by that time, having a Double Dhamaal hangover, Sanjay Dutt has sent his new baby into the world as well....

Directed by: David Dhawan
Starring: Sanjay Dutt, Ajay Devgn, Kangana Ranaut

Verdict: destroy every copy – horrible – bad – whatever – flawed but enjoyable - good – great – amazing

Throughout I kept having Deewana Mastana flashbacks, however one would be looking for the same light-heartedness, same charm or level of performances in vain in Rascals. Sanjay and Ajay were wasted, which is sad, because they really work as a male jodi and both have great comic timing. However the OTT acting is not Ajay´s cup of chai at all. Kangana needs to stop doing comedies right NOW! She was awful from beginning to end. She did not share any chemistry whatsoever with either of the two main protagonists, so even their pursue of her was not really interesting to watch. I did not like at all the way women were portraited, if that is even the word for nothing but a vulgar flesh show. Sanjay Dutt should either stop criticizing actresses for what they wear or stop producing films like Rascals. The film is also a proof that David Dhawan has completely lost his touch.

I am no fan of romantic comedies, even less of teenage romantic comedies, and although I liked Luv Ka the End, it is really an exception. Because of that I was quite surprised that another film of the same genre was pleasant as well.

Directed by: Nupur Ashtana
Starring: Saqib Saleem, Saba Azad

Verdict: destroy every copy – horrible – bad – whatever – flawed but enjoyable - good – great – amazing

With romantic teenage comedies it is never really about story, but about concept and form, the way the script is presented. MFK is presented well. Not as energic as Luv ka the end, not as funny either, but unlike Luv Ka The End, it has a nice romantic feel, nothing goes over the top. The performances are all natural and pleasant, music, though not groundbreaking ads nice atmosphere. A good timepass.

After MFK I watched mostly older movies, waiting for more new DVDs to come out, and trying luck with several more new films. However My neither Friend Pinto nor Tell me o Khudda or Always Kabhi Kabhie held my interest for longer than 15 minutes and so I really don´t have much to say about them, except maybe that Esha Deol totally falls into the clichéd cathegory of untalented star children. Sadly enough Shahrukh Khan, whom I love so much, did not really impress me (or anyone really) with his heavily promoted Ra.One (review coming eventually), but he got back on the right track later with Don 2 (of course full review is in store). However not even he gave a better performance than Ranbir Kapoor in Rockstar (a long review so coming soon), that for me became not only the most intense love story of the year – and the best film of the year, but also a modern days classic. As I have said at the very beginning, I have not yet seen The Dirty picture, and so here got the  last two films I´m going to mention in here.

Directed by: Maneesh Sharma
Starring: Anushka Sharma, Ranveer Singh, Parineeti Chopra, Aditi Sharma Dipannita Sharma

Verdict: destroy every copy – horrible – bad – whatever – flawed but enjoyable - good – great – amazing

LVRB takes place in some weird alternative reality where Ranveer Singh is for every girl an irresistable sexy beast and from that moment on I was a bit wary because I find him neither handsome nor hot, or even interesting. The casting of the girls was much more spot on from demure Aditi to loud-nouted Parineeti, and of course very natural Anushka. Somehow however, Anushka did not matter to me in the movie. I couldn´t care less for her feelings and actually enjoyed the three other ladies in the first half of the movie much much more. Anushka´s entry into the film however, is brilliant. The story gets rather boring in the second half and climax is predictable, though not completely justified. I truly didn´t see where the love was supposed to come from or how, in matter of few days, it could have changed one´s personality completely. Ranveer has not much to work with really, except walking around showing off his body and being supposedly sexy. He was much less impressive than in BBB. His pairing with Anushka is highly praised all over the place, but to be honest they do not really "do it" for me. Music was blah, choreography bad. An OK film, but not much more than that.

Directed by: Rohit Dhawan
Starring: Akshay Kumar, John Abraham, Deepika Padukone, Chitrangda Singh

Verdict: destroy every copy – horrible – bad – whatever – flawed but enjoyable - good – great – amazing

For me personally the most enjoyable comedy of the whole 2011. In spite of the things that kinda sucked, it was still so enjoyable and fun! What I truly appreciated was the absence of cheap and vulgar jokes that are such a rage these days, and even though there definitely are several "sex related" scenes the soul of the film remains quite innocent. The highlight performances for me were John (whose comedy had me in splits), Anupam Kher (whose every scene had me in splits) and Deepika (who just really needs to work more on her dialogue delivery, but looks drop dead gorgeous and acts brilliantly in several scenes and is good in the rest). Chitrangda looks beautiful and does well in whatever she´s given, but I did not like her character, that indeed seemed somehow desperate and well, unneccessarily horny. I´m not really a fan of Akshay´s, but he was fine - and his "job interview" was perfect. Sanjay Dutt looked really bad and apparently the composers can take a rest while writing music while he´s on screen because they can always throw Khalnayak main theme out there and everyone is happy. The emotional scenes were unimpressive.

So that was the year 2011 in Bollywood through my eyes. Thank you if you managed to read through this loooong post. ;)

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